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| Beowulf slaying Grendel |
Image of myself My name is Lindsi Unsell. I am a senior at The University of Oklahoma and I am studying Communications. All of my Communication classes have been so interesting and relevant to everyday life. I have actually noticed myself become a better communicator and have been more aware of how others communicate around me. As a senior, I am both excited and nervous to have such limited time in school left. I feel so happy that I have come this far successfully and I can see the light at the end of this stressful yet rewarding tunnel. I also work at The Oklahoma Daily as a copy editor and hope to try my hand at some writing for the newspaper this final semester. The Daily has been one of the most rewarding things I have done at OU. I have met a niche group of people that help me connect with others outside of school that I may not have gotten the chance to meet otherwise. I love being a part of the school newspaper because I feel so much more aware of events going on locall
Hi, Lindsi! Heroes are fun. I think the reason that they have been around for so long—from the most ancient of plays and poems to the multi-billion dollar adaptations of comic books—is that we enjoy seeing characters overcome obstacles, achieve their goals, and fulfill their dreams in a dramatic way. Just like any of us struggle in our daily lives and hope to overcome our problems for something greater, we look to heroes for inspiration. Though heroes are represented on a much grander scale, the ideals are very much the same as normal people.
ReplyDeleteI know Beowulf is one of the oldest heroes mentioned in English literature, though I can’t say that I know anything about him or his achievements. That said, I’m excited to see how you retell his story, and I hope to get a better understanding of Beowulf as a character in your storybook project. Regarding your introduction, I think it’s very strong and evenly paced. Looking ahead I would determine how you will write these stories from a narrative standpoint, but otherwise I think you’re all set. I can’t wait to read the first story of your project!
Hi Lindsi! I really like how detailed your introduction is. Not everyone has a bunch of experience with Beowulf so your introduction helps get everyone on the same page. It the oldest story of its kind and that history would be really cool to add in! People either love it or hate it so it might help some people fall in love with his story too!
ReplyDeleteWith you story about the dragon, it has really good bones. When you go and correct add some details possible? Let us know how the hot metal felt and the smoke burned his eyes. Talk about his fears and his his little wins before the big one! It will just help the story be more captivating, but great job!
Hello again, Lindsi! I’m so excited to read your first story for “Beowulf.” I have to ask, is there a reason that Beowulf feels at ease in the face of danger? Why does he seek it out? It might seem a little strange to the reader without a brief explanation. It could be interesting to reflect upon, or even to reveal why he likes danger in a later story. It’s a personal opinion, but I think it would be intriguing for the audience to know more about the hero’s motivations.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I enjoy the story and appreciate how it implies Beowulf’s one of many victories. I want to learn more about the main character and his companions as the storybook progresses.I might suggest adding some commas here and there—it might be good for the reader. If you’re unsure where to place them, try reading the story aloud and seeing if there is a sentence that requires a breath or pause. I would insert a comma there.
I look forward to reading the next story of our hero’s adventure! Until then, write on.
Hi Lindsi! I read Beowulf in high school for my literature class and it was one of my favorite things we read the whole year, so I was excited to sit down and get a chance to read your version of it. And let me tell you, you did not disappoint. I liked how you wanted to start right off with the action. It is very interesting how you took the battle of the climax and flipped it to be what comes right after the introduction to Beowulf. I wonder how you will order the rest of the events that took place in the book. Will you go backwards or will you play around with the order? Is Beowulf going to die at the end?
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job at writing the battle. Its hard to write a good battle/fight seen because the audience needs a vivid picture formed in their minds, but you accomplished this. I also really enjoyed Wiglaf in your story. I think you did a great job at making him a good side kick. He doesn't just feel like some cheap throwaway character. Thanks for the great read, can't wait to check out the rest.
Hey Lindsi!
ReplyDeleteI have heard the name Beowulf many times in the past, but have never actually read any of the stories associated with him. I was therefore very excited to be able to dive into your storybook and meet this hero! Your introduction does a wonderful job of providing background and setting the scene for what is to come. I also really like the vivid image you included on this page.
Your first story is absolutely wonderful! I love the style of your writing and the fantastical world you create for the reader. The imagery in the beginning paints a beautiful picture of the scenery. You might consider adding more dialogue in this story; I think it would be really neat to hear what Beowulf and Wiglaf would be trying to say to one another as they fight the dragon. You could play with the idea that they have difficulty hearing one another to create some intriguing back-and-forth. Overall, excellent job, and I can't wait to read the next installment!
A few nit-picky things:
-Rather than say "separated regular men from Beowulf," I would change the order and put Beowulf before the men ("separated Beowulf from regular men"), as it signals right away that this man is different from all those others that are indistinguishable from one another.
-I believe the word "to" should be added in the sentence "did not even have time process"
Hi Lindsi!
ReplyDeleteI think that it is so cool that Beowulf is the theme of your storybook! My senior year of high school, I learned all about Beowulf and the adventures that he went on. To start off with, you introductory page is fantastic! I really liked how you compared today's heroes with Beowulf. I thought that talking about Marvel and DC comics was a great transition, as it definitely caught my attention and gave me a hint about the topic of this storybook. Additionally, I liked how you foreshadowed the specific stories that would be featured in this storybook. In your introduction, you mentioned how we would follow Beowulf's adventures from the land to the sea. Mentioning his adventures definitely intrigued me and inspired me to read the whole storybook. You did a good job of giving readers a sneak peak of what was going to happen in the storybook, without revealing the individual stories themselves.
As far as design goes, I think you website is very aesthetically pleasing. I really liked the font you used for "Beowulf" on your introductory page. It was very different from the font that you used in the rest of the book and I feel like that font fits perfectly with the time period you are writing about. Additionally, I like how all of the pictures look similar. All the pictures in you storybook look like they came from the same artists, as they have the same color schemes and the same design. Your storybook is put together well! It is very easy to navigate and appealing to the eyes! Good job.
Hi Lindsi! I was excited to come across your storybook as I have heard much about Beowulf but never really read a story about him. Your introduction was clear and gave me ample information to gain a full grasp on Beowulf, making my ability to understand the stories quite easy. I also like how you clarify that the stories are individual quests and not connected. Regarding your second story with the Water Witch, the detail you provided was great and kept me engaged with the action. Perhaps you could add more detail about Grendel in the end, especially for readers like me who may not know about the significance of the beast. Did the Water Witch kill her grandson? I wonder what happened to the fate of Grendel due to the note you gave about the beast in the introduction. Overall, this was a great and fascinating story to read!
ReplyDeleteHey Lindsi!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your first installment, and had to return to see what story you would spin in the second! I love the fact that you situate the reader right in the middle of the action, immediately introducing us to the start of another heroic journey with a new foe. Your descriptions of the Water Witch are fantastic - I could envision each detail of her sinister form as she dragged Beowulf below the water. It might be interesting to include some detail about why giants' swords are known to harm ogres. Is there an old, enduring rivalry between the two species of beasts? And in that case, how did the witch come to be in possession of the sword. The ending wraps the story up very nicely. The bit about the crimson water was very vivid and provided a great element of suspense for Beowulf's comrades. One way you could make it more suspenseful for the reader is to have the final fight happen, and then reference the crimson water. We wouldn't know if Beowulf had made it until he emerged unscathed! This is just a suggestion of course, as it is already wonderful the way it is. Nicely done!
Hi Lindsi! Your Storybook intrigued me because I'd read Beowulf in high school, and was curious to see a new take on the stories. I remember not totally loving the tale, but your writing and enthusiasm for it definitely made me think of it in a new light! You do a really good job in the Author's Notes of explaining what you changed and why (side note I think it's really interesting that you chose to write the last battle of his life first, and let him live). One thing I think you could add to them is the incorporation of some of the history of who Beowulf is and where he comes from, such as more about the Geats or the time period or location that these legends are taking place in. More context is always useful for enriching the reader's perspective I'd say. Overall, really cool Storybook, and I love the enthusiasm you write with and the intentionality with the decisions and changes you make from the original stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Lindsi,
ReplyDeleteI want to start off by saying how well your chosen images help convey the stories you have written. I know of Beowulf, but I never previously read it. So I was interested in reading your stories to get some background knowledge of the English epic. I appreciate how you paralleled two different epics that speak largely on the cultural time period they were written in. One suggestion you may consider is shortening the titles in your webpage tabs; so instead of writing the full title, you may consider writing Defeated Dragon. The shortening helps the readers get a quick grasp of the overall story and it eliminates the "..." that replaces the long title in the tab. Overall, you did a great job conveying the elements of Beowulf. I look forward to reading your finalized storybook project!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI think that your webpage looks really cool. I followed a similar structure for my own! Your introduction is well written and informs the reader of the topic and what the stories will be. I knew exactly what I should expect from the stories to come, which was nice. As for your first story I thought it was well written. Might I suggest adding a more interesting title something catchier about Beowulf fighting the dragon. I like how you put that story first in the order. It was really thrilling and built up well. The following stories were also very interesting. I did not know some of these tales of Beowulf, so I found it refreshing and new! I also like the change when it came to the last story and how you told it form Beowulf’s point of view. It made the story more real and made it to where I could connect with the character more.
Hi Lindsi! Great job on your storybook project. Your website design looks really nice. I think that the colors and images you selected fit your topic perfectly. The three stories you featured are all very well written. Your writing is interesting and descriptive. It makes me feel like I can actually hear, see, and feel what’s happening in your stories. I would recommend breaking some of your longer paragraphs into shorter ones, especially for the third story. This could make the stories easier to follow and understand. I also would have loved to have read more dialogue in your stories. The dialogue that is featured gets somewhat lost in the longer paragraphs, so I would also recommend separating that so that it is easier to find. You did a nice job of providing the key information in your author’s note. This was helpful because I am not very familiar with your topic. Great job overall!
ReplyDeleteHey Lindsi!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of Beowulf before, so when I came across your storybook I was really intrigued on what it was going to be about. I thought your introduction was a great hook to the rest of your storybooks, especially when you mentioned how everyone loves superheroes and Marvel/DC Comics. I'm definitely guilty of liking most of the Marvel movies! I loved your story about When Beowulf Defeats the Dragon, one of my suggestions would be to maybe change the title so it doesn't give away the ending of the story before it's even read! I thought your authors notes were very helpful as well, especially since I had never read any of the Beowulf stories before - and I really like how you separated the story and the authors note with the different background colors. Great job and I hope you had a great semester!